Looking Back
by Starlit Skyline
Summary: When was it that we first met? When did I first hear your name? How did we become rivals again? And most importantly - when did we become friends? Naruto-centric


Another Naruto story, thanks to all who reviewed and faved 'Promise Kept'! This is a bit of a psychological fic, in some kind of Naruto goofiness. Still, I hope you like it!

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When You Didn't Mean It

When was it that we first met?

I wonder sometimes, it's surely an interesting memory but one I can't remember. I can't recall seeing you in the playground, just the Academy. But, I saw you before, in the village, so many times.

You're the Pride of the Village Hidden in Leaves I'd hear the people say, and it made me jealous. You were my exact opposite; I guess that's why the villagers love you.

When did I first hear your name?

That's the easier question of the two. Hey wait! When did I start asking myself questions? Stupid doubts!

Okay, where was I? Oh, yeah!

As I said, people say you're perfect – to the point of being annoying. But people can be that way, ignorant, bitter, spiteful, malicious and hateful, oh and they have ideals, they like to hide behind their ideals to shield themselves from things they don't like. All sorts of things like that, it's just hate in different shades and masks.

But you. Everyone _adores_ you, like you're the next Hokage. I even heard a few villagers talking about you in that way.

I tried to be better because of that, to be as good as a shinobi as you were.

How did we become rivals again?

I guess it started when I tried to be a better shinobi, as I said before. You were the drive I needed – you, who already had everything I wanted and took it for granted and me, the one who people always expected to be left in the dust.

Well _**not anymore!**_

Okay, back on topic! Man, it's hard to stay on one topic when it comes to you Sasuke, or maybe it's just me… Oops! Sorry! Come on Naruto focus! No more rambling, besides there's just one more question I need to ask both myself and you.

The most important one - when did we become friends?

That's the only question I don't have an answer for. But I'll find it eventually. I once wondered why the village hated my, but I found the answer.

Sometimes, I wonder... if it's better to wonder and never find the answer to your question, or to leave it unanswered.

Well, I was never a deep-thinker, not really. At least for the strategic stuff, I understand people and their emotions – but everybody tells me that doesn't count as knowledge. So? Maybe it doesn't in their books, but in mine – it's what gives me the hope and will to smile!

Nah, that sounds depressive. When you're happy you don't think much, and it's better that way. You don't ponder those unanswered questions, nor do you ponder past mistakes. Always make mistakes, that way you know how to correct them.

I follow my heart... all though I admittedly leave my brain behind. What? It usually catches up!

People called me a monster, but I think they just wanted a mirror for themselves. Either way, the though I was something I was not – and I turned into that.

I wanted people not to be scared of me. To at least look at me. I wanted to just run over to someone – _anyone_, and make them turn around and face me. Or was it me facing them?

I couldn't force myself though, and I often found myself wanting to make those people go through what I have. Not to understand, just to suffer the pain they dealt me. But that would really make a real monster out of me, so I settled for pranks and causing all sorts of well... fun.

But someone gave me a chance then, and that put a real smile on my face!

And then I became the goofy, smiling ape that was stuck in your team. And as much as the villager's annoyed my with the topic 'Perfect Sasuke', _you_ irritated me much more!

Seriously!

But, at one point... that just became teasing. I haven't really realized when, but, truthfully the most important things are the ones that go unnoticed. You only remember how things were when they change.

Back then people always told you you should be the best shinobi, now when you're gone they tell me that! It's nice though, but I wonder if the words of one random person in the world could help you or hurt you as much as those of someone you care about.

Of course not! But you know that all too well Sasuke, you're constantly thinking about yesterday. You look at tomorrow as if it was set in stone, and the only thing that could move that stone was your own power.

Everything is about some kind of power here, isn't it? But the most important is the power to make your own choices, and I tried to take that power away from you. It was the Village's order and the Village has power over it's shinobi, like a shinobi has power over their weapon.

I have so much power in me and that's why people fear me. But you weren't aware of it, and when you did become aware of it you didn't mind it... well, at least for a while.

Then, not now...

Back then, when you considered me a friend...

... I wonder... did you even mean that?

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Yeah, I'm not sure anyone likes this... should I delete it then? Not sure...


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